The Useless Powers Game

[Poofiemus]

Venom, you have the ability to conjure up a book of Gary Larson's weirdest Far Side cartoons and give it to your dumbest friends.

My Powers:
Turning hot coffee into cold coffee by glaring at it for three minutes
Turning people's hair into floral arrangements by snapping my fingers
Making Pipe-Organ drunk over the internet
Making "Bananaphone" play every time I turn an MP3 player on
Draining the batteries out of my (nonexistant) wristwatch
Making dogs chase their tails just by looking at them, with the side effect of becoming dizzy myself.
Giving people "Easter Island Heads" when I don't want to listen to them anymore
Spontaneously uttering a foreign word after every 34 English words
Turning bedroom slippers into stilletto heels by putting them on
Reading pet's minds when they are engaged in a rather disgusting activity.
Instantly melting ice cream
Making Nightwish play in any elevator I enter
Putting holes into people's socks at will.
Making anyone passing by me think about Homer Simpson
SPOOOOOOON GUUUUUAAAAAARD
Impressing anyone with my DDR powers
Printing documents in any language but English
Writing horrible fanficition every time I need to write a paper
Using the wrong punctuation with every sentence I write
Spontaneously becoming 14 feet tall every 8 hours
Deriving my just powers from the consent of the governed
The power to turn invisible when no one is looking
The power to turn shedded dog hair into lima beans

[Venomeye]

Poofiemus, you can now make anybody you want crawl up into a ball and go into depression over spilt water.

My Powers:
Power to make my toenails grow at will.
I can waste entire nights reading webcomics.
Power of turning empty pizza boxes into burnt toast.
Seeing purple turtles playing shuffleboard when I sneeze.
Every other sketch I do randomly comes out as a nude, no matter what I was doing.
Power to instantly crush a beverage can as soon as I take the last sip.
Unconciously changing the contents of my computer screen to porn whenever my boss/parents walk in.
Power to turn my fingers into cacti for one-minute periods of time.
I shatter a CD whenever I pull it out of the case. D'oh!
Power to turn chocolate pudding into Tapioca pudding
I can make people see what I subconsciously visualise when I listen to music, but when it's not disturbing.
Whenever I make a purchase less than fifty cents, I can magically pull out exact change.
I turn fanfiction into crunchy crackers, with the crackers having the qualities of the fanfiction.
Power to make dogs imagine they're having their bellies rubbed.
Can fwap anybody whose subject line begins with "Re:".
My lottery tickets always have the last number wrong, but the others are all right.
I can draw perfect humans with a computer mouse now, but they will all end up naked.
When dialing a phone, everytime I try to hit a number I always hit two at once.
Power to emerge randomly from people's televisions.
Power to turn out a complilation of Gary Larson's strangest Far Side comics and give it to my dumbest friends.

[Pipe Organ Wolf]

Venom, I grant you the power to turn every beverage into a glass of cottage cheese.

My powers:
I can cook anything instantly if it contains copious abounts of alchohol
The ability to hear grass grow
The power to fly for the duration of an average camera's shutter speed every four hours
Turn good Japanese restaurant ramen into crappy American instant ramen
Turn 5.000 sheets of paper with drawings on them back into trees
The ability to wake up four minutes before my alarm goes off
The power to make people imagine giving me "high-five"
A spell to turn people into sheep for 20 second periods
When I step through a revolving door, I see 4 seconds into the past
I can turn bed sheets into dance pads
The power to turn useful pills into tictacs by eating them
The power to BS a paper but only get a C on it
I can only talk to store managers when they're not looking
I inspire blind people to have confidence in their driving ability
I can turn Mac OS into Windows, but not back again
Every time I play a cassette tape, it plays the wrong side
I can morph into a debit card at will
I can raise Lego men into zombies that can go about their own will
I can adjust the color levels of the monitor of the person I'm talking to.
The power of WERE-MOOSE (Chibi Style)
The power to talk to plants
I can brush my teeth as fast as the Flash
I can zap anyone's tie into a new color

[Poofiemus]

Pipe Organ, I grant you the power to make random people start singing "Re: Your Brains", the Easter Island Head song, and "Doobee Doowop Communication" whenever you feel like it.

My Powers:
Turning hot coffee into cold coffee by glaring at it for three minutes
Turning people's hair into floral arrangements by snapping my fingers
Making Pipe-Organ drunk over the internet
Making "Bananaphone" play every time I turn an MP3 player on
Draining the batteries out of my (nonexistant) wristwatch
Making dogs chase their tails just by looking at them, with the side effect of becoming dizzy myself.
Giving people "Easter Island Heads" when I don't want to listen to them anymore
Spontaneously uttering a foreign word after every 34 English words
Turning bedroom slippers into stilletto heels by putting them on
Reading pet's minds when they are engaged in a rather disgusting activity.
Instantly melting ice cream
Making Nightwish play in any elevator I enter
Putting holes into people's socks at will.
Making anyone passing by me think about Homer Simpson
SPOOOOOOON GUUUUUAAAAAARD
Impressing anyone with my DDR powers
Printing documents in any language but English
Writing horrible fanficition every time I need to write a paper
Using the wrong punctuation with every sentence I write
Spontaneously becoming 14 feet tall every 8 hours
Deriving my just powers from the consent of the governed
The power to turn invisible when no one is looking
The power to turn shedded dog hair into lima beans
Making people go emo in a corner over spilt water

[Pipe Organ Wolf]

Poofie, I grant you the power to grow a pair of Moose antlers just before you need to walk through a narrow doorway.



My powers:
~I can cook anything instantly if it contains copious abounts of alchohol
~The ability to hear grass grow
~The power to fly for the duration of an average camera's shutter speed every four hours
~Turn good Japanese restaurant ramen into crappy American instant ramen
~Turn 5.000 sheets of paper with drawings on them back into trees
~The ability to wake up four minutes before my alarm goes off
~The power to make people imagine giving me "high-five"
~A spell to turn people into sheep for 20 second periods
~When I step through a revolving door, I see 4 seconds into the past
~I can turn bed sheets into dance pads
~The power to turn useful pills into tictacs by eating them
~The power to BS a paper but only get a C on it
~I can only talk to store managers when they're not looking
~I inspire blind people to have confidence in their driving ability
~I can turn Mac OS into Windows, but not back again
~Every time I play a cassette tape, it plays the wrong side
~I can morph into a debit card at will
~I can raise Lego men into zombies that can go about their own will
~I can adjust the color levels of the monitor of the person I'm talking to.
~The power of WERE-MOOSE (Chibi Style)
~The power to talk to plants
~I can brush my teeth as fast as the Flash
~I can zap anyone's tie into a new color
~The power to make random people start singing "Re: Your Brains", the Easter Island Head song, and "Doobee Doowop Communication" whenever I want

[Venomeye]

*gets sick at the thought of cottage cheese*

Wolf, everytime you go near a painting, it immediately flips upside.

My powers:
Power to make my toenails grow at will.
I can waste entire nights reading webcomics.
Power of turning empty pizza boxes into burnt toast.
Seeing purple turtles playing shuffleboard when I sneeze.
Every other sketch I do randomly comes out as a nude, no matter what I was doing.
Power to instantly crush a beverage can as soon as I take the last sip.
Unconciously changing the contents of my computer screen to porn whenever my boss/parents walk in.
Power to turn my fingers into cacti for one-minute periods of time.
I shatter a CD whenever I pull it out of the case. D'oh!
Power to turn chocolate pudding into Tapioca pudding
I can make people see what I subconsciously visualise when I listen to music, but when it's not disturbing.
Whenever I make a purchase less than fifty cents, I can magically pull out exact change.
I turn fanfiction into crunchy crackers, with the crackers having the qualities of the fanfiction.
Power to make dogs imagine they're having their bellies rubbed.
Can fwap anybody whose subject line begins with "Re:".
My lottery tickets always have the last number wrong, but the others are all right.
I can draw perfect humans with a computer mouse now, but they will all end up naked.
When dialing a phone, everytime I try to hit a number I always hit two at once.
Power to emerge randomly from people's televisions.
Power to turn out a complilation of Gary Larson's strangest Far Side comics and give it to my dumbest friends.
Turning every beverage into a glass of cottage cheese.

[Poofiemus]

Venom, I grant you the power to make other people's left feet itch at your will.

My Powers:
Turning hot coffee into cold coffee by glaring at it for three minutes
Turning people's hair into floral arrangements by snapping my fingers
Making Pipe-Organ drunk over the internet
Making "Bananaphone" play every time I turn an MP3 player on
Draining the batteries out of my (nonexistant) wristwatch
Making dogs chase their tails just by looking at them, with the side effect of becoming dizzy myself.
Giving people "Easter Island Heads" when I don't want to listen to them anymore
Spontaneously uttering a foreign word after every 34 English words
Turning bedroom slippers into stilletto heels by putting them on
Reading pet's minds when they are engaged in a rather disgusting activity.
Instantly melting ice cream
Making Nightwish play in any elevator I enter
Putting holes into people's socks at will.
Making anyone passing by me think about Homer Simpson
SPOOOOOOON GUUUUUAAAAAARD
Impressing anyone with my DDR powers
Printing documents in any language but English
Writing horrible fanficition every time I need to write a paper
Using the wrong punctuation with every sentence I write
Spontaneously becoming 14 feet tall every 8 hours
Deriving my just powers from the consent of the governed
The power to turn invisible when no one is looking
The power to turn shedded dog hair into lima beans
Making people go emo in a corner over spilt water
Sprouting moose antlers when I need to go through a narrow doorway

[Pipe Organ Wolf]

Poofie, I grant you the ability to turn crunchy peanut butter into creamy just by opening the can.

My powers:
~I can cook anything instantly if it contains copious abounts of alchohol
~The ability to hear grass grow
~The power to fly for the duration of an average camera's shutter speed every four hours
~Turn good Japanese restaurant ramen into crappy American instant ramen
~Turn 5.000 sheets of paper with drawings on them back into trees
~The ability to wake up four minutes before my alarm goes off
~The power to make people imagine giving me "high-five"
~A spell to turn people into sheep for 20 second periods
~When I step through a revolving door, I see 4 seconds into the past
~I can turn bed sheets into dance pads
~The power to turn useful pills into tictacs by eating them
~The power to BS a paper but only get a C on it
~I can only talk to store managers when they're not looking
~I inspire blind people to have confidence in their driving ability
~I can turn Mac OS into Windows, but not back again
~Every time I play a cassette tape, it plays the wrong side
~I can morph into a debit card at will
~I can raise Lego men into zombies that can go about their own will
~I can adjust the color levels of the monitor of the person I'm talking to.
~The power of WERE-MOOSE (Chibi Style)
~The power to talk to plants
~I can brush my teeth as fast as the Flash
~I can zap anyone's tie into a new color
~The power to make random people start singing "Re: Your Brains", the Easter Island Head song, and "Doobee Doowop Communication" whenever I want
~Everytime I approach a painting, it flips upside down

[yugimew]

Wolf, you get the power to teach fish to fart on command.

My powers:
None yet

[Venomeye]

Yugimew, I grant you the power to make the president say "I play computer games" any time while he's giving a speech.

My Powers:
Power to make my toenails grow at will.
I can waste entire nights reading webcomics.
Power of turning empty pizza boxes into burnt toast.
Seeing purple turtles playing shuffleboard when I sneeze.
Every other sketch I do randomly comes out as a nude, no matter what I was doing.
Power to instantly crush a beverage can as soon as I take the last sip.
Unconciously changing the contents of my computer screen to porn whenever my boss/parents walk in.
Power to turn my fingers into cacti for one-minute periods of time.
I shatter a CD whenever I pull it out of the case. D'oh!
Power to turn chocolate pudding into Tapioca pudding
I can make people see what I subconsciously visualise when I listen to music, but when it's not disturbing.
Whenever I make a purchase less than fifty cents, I can magically pull out exact change.
I turn fanfiction into crunchy crackers, with the crackers having the qualities of the fanfiction.
Power to make dogs imagine they're having their bellies rubbed.
Can fwap anybody whose subject line begins with "Re:".
My lottery tickets always have the last number wrong, but the others are all right.
I can draw perfect humans with a computer mouse now, but they will all end up naked.
When dialing a phone, everytime I try to hit a number I always hit two at once.
Power to emerge randomly from people's televisions.
Power to turn out a complilation of Gary Larson's strangest Far Side comics and give it to my dumbest friends.
Turning every beverage into a glass of cottage cheese.
Making people's left foot itch at will.

[Poofiemus]

Venom, I grant you the power to summon an imp to do your bidding--except said imp is only the size of your thumbnail.

My Powers:
Turning hot coffee into cold coffee by glaring at it for three minutes
Turning people's hair into floral arrangements by snapping my fingers
Making Pipe-Organ drunk over the internet
Making "Bananaphone" play every time I turn an MP3 player on
Draining the batteries out of my (nonexistant) wristwatch
Making dogs chase their tails just by looking at them, with the side effect of becoming dizzy myself.
Giving people "Easter Island Heads" when I don't want to listen to them anymore
Spontaneously uttering a foreign word after every 34 English words
Turning bedroom slippers into stilletto heels by putting them on
Reading pet's minds when they are engaged in a rather disgusting activity.
Instantly melting ice cream
Making Nightwish play in any elevator I enter
Putting holes into people's socks at will.
Making anyone passing by me think about Homer Simpson
SPOOOOOOON GUUUUUAAAAAARD
Impressing anyone with my DDR powers
Printing documents in any language but English
Writing horrible fanficition every time I need to write a paper
Using the wrong punctuation with every sentence I write
Spontaneously becoming 14 feet tall every 8 hours
Deriving my just powers from the consent of the governed
The power to turn invisible when no one is looking
The power to turn shedded dog hair into lima beans
Making people go emo in a corner over spilt water
Sprouting moose antlers when I need to go through a narrow doorway
Turning crunchy peanut butter into creamy just by opening the can

[Venomeye]

"Imp! Fetch me my newspaper!" He'll be back in a decade.

Poofiemus, I give you the ability to make movies about a billion malnourished skulls exploding over a universe of rust.

My Powers:
Power to make my toenails grow at will.
I can waste entire nights reading webcomics.
Power of turning empty pizza boxes into burnt toast.
Seeing purple turtles playing shuffleboard when I sneeze.
Every other sketch I do randomly comes out as a nude, no matter what I was doing.
Power to instantly crush a beverage can as soon as I take the last sip.
Unconciously changing the contents of my computer screen to porn whenever my boss/parents walk in.
Power to turn my fingers into cacti for one-minute periods of time.
I shatter a CD whenever I pull it out of the case. D'oh!
Power to turn chocolate pudding into Tapioca pudding
I can make people see what I subconsciously visualise when I listen to music, but when it's not disturbing.
Whenever I make a purchase less than fifty cents, I can magically pull out exact change.
I turn fanfiction into crunchy crackers, with the crackers having the qualities of the fanfiction.
Power to make dogs imagine they're having their bellies rubbed.
Can fwap anybody whose subject line begins with "Re:".
My lottery tickets always have the last number wrong, but the others are all right.
I can draw perfect humans with a computer mouse now, but they will all end up naked.
When dialing a phone, everytime I try to hit a number I always hit two at once.
Power to emerge randomly from people's televisions.
Power to turn out a complilation of Gary Larson's strangest Far Side comics and give it to my dumbest friends.
Turning every beverage into a glass of cottage cheese.
Making people's left foot itch at will.
Summoning an imp the size of my thumbnail to do my bidding.

[Pipe Organ Wolf]

Okay, I was reading your last post, and my left foot itched. That power seems to really work.

Venom, I grant you the power to play CDs backwards when you insert them upside down.

My powers:
~I can cook anything instantly if it contains copious abounts of alchohol
~The ability to hear grass grow
~The power to fly for the duration of an average camera's shutter speed every four hours
~Turn good Japanese restaurant ramen into crappy American instant ramen
~Turn 5.000 sheets of paper with drawings on them back into trees
~The ability to wake up four minutes before my alarm goes off
~The power to make people imagine giving me "high-five"
~A spell to turn people into sheep for 20 second periods
~When I step through a revolving door, I see 4 seconds into the past
~I can turn bed sheets into dance pads
~The power to turn useful pills into tictacs by eating them
~The power to BS a paper but only get a C on it
~I can only talk to store managers when they're not looking
~I inspire blind people to have confidence in their driving ability
~I can turn Mac OS into Windows, but not back again
~Every time I play a cassette tape, it plays the wrong side
~I can morph into a debit card at will
~I can raise Lego men into zombies that can go about their own will
~I can adjust the color levels of the monitor of the person I'm talking to.
~The power of WERE-MOOSE (Chibi Style)
~The power to talk to plants
~I can brush my teeth as fast as the Flash
~I can zap anyone's tie into a new color
~The power to make random people start singing "Re: Your Brains", the Easter Island Head song, and "Doobee Doowop Communication" whenever I want
~Everytime I approach a painting, it flips upside down
~The power to teach fish to fart on command

[Poofiemus]

Pipe Organ, I grant you the power to summon a phantom metronome to tick in people's heads whenever you feel they're getting off beat--you'll become the world's best middle school band director!

My Powers:
Turning hot coffee into cold coffee by glaring at it for three minutes
Turning people's hair into floral arrangements by snapping my fingers
Making Pipe-Organ drunk over the internet
Making "Bananaphone" play every time I turn an MP3 player on
Draining the batteries out of my (nonexistant) wristwatch
Making dogs chase their tails just by looking at them, with the side effect of becoming dizzy myself.
Giving people "Easter Island Heads" when I don't want to listen to them anymore
Spontaneously uttering a foreign word after every 34 English words
Turning bedroom slippers into stilletto heels by putting them on
Reading pet's minds when they are engaged in a rather disgusting activity.
Instantly melting ice cream
Making Nightwish play in any elevator I enter
Putting holes into people's socks at will.
Making anyone passing by me think about Homer Simpson
SPOOOOOOON GUUUUUAAAAAARD
Impressing anyone with my DDR powers
Printing documents in any language but English
Writing horrible fanficition every time I need to write a paper
Using the wrong punctuation with every sentence I write
Spontaneously becoming 14 feet tall every 8 hours
Deriving my just powers from the consent of the governed
The power to turn invisible when no one is looking
The power to turn shedded dog hair into lima beans
Making people go emo in a corner over spilt water
Sprouting moose antlers when I need to go through a narrow doorway
Turning crunchy peanut butter into creamy just by opening the can
The ability to make movies about malnourished skulls exploding across a world of rust

[Pipe Organ Wolf]

I could SOOO use that power with some of my instrumentalists and piano students. Now if only they could actually play with the clicking.

Poofie, I grant you the power to make cats flick their right ears when you talk to them.


My powers:
~I can cook anything instantly if it contains copious abounts of alchohol
~The ability to hear grass grow
~The power to fly for the duration of an average camera's shutter speed every four hours
~Turn good Japanese restaurant ramen into crappy American instant ramen
~Turn 5.000 sheets of paper with drawings on them back into trees
~The ability to wake up four minutes before my alarm goes off
~The power to make people imagine giving me "high-five"
~A spell to turn people into sheep for 20 second periods
~When I step through a revolving door, I see 4 seconds into the past
~I can turn bed sheets into dance pads
~The power to turn useful pills into tictacs by eating them
~The power to BS a paper but only get a C on it
~I can only talk to store managers when they're not looking
~I inspire blind people to have confidence in their driving ability
~I can turn Mac OS into Windows, but not back again
~Every time I play a cassette tape, it plays the wrong side
~I can morph into a debit card at will
~I can raise Lego men into zombies that can go about their own will
~I can adjust the color levels of the monitor of the person I'm talking to.
~The power of WERE-MOOSE (Chibi Style)
~The power to talk to plants
~I can brush my teeth as fast as the Flash
~I can zap anyone's tie into a new color
~The power to make random people start singing "Re: Your Brains", the Easter Island Head song, and "Doobee Doowop Communication" whenever I want
~Everytime I approach a painting, it flips upside down
~The power to teach fish to fart on command
~The power to summon a metronome to tick in people's heads as needed